한해를 보내면서 나는 무엇을 감사 할꼬
(How can I not give thanks to the Lord, who has given me a new husband even after I’ve passed my sixtieth birthday?)
Mrs. Kim Young-ok
When I look back on the events of the past month rather than the 60 pyeong of my life so far, I am simply amazed and astonished by the Lord’s grace. How can He be so attentive, so precise, and so caring?
Over the years, there have been countless moments when I was so overwhelmed by the Lord’s indescribable grace that I could not stand and had to sink to my knees before Him; but this time, because His timing was so precise, rather than feeling grateful, I was filled with awe, fear, and even trembling. Since I have lived my life seeing the Lord’s presence with my own eyes and touching it with my own hands, I have been striving to live a life of obedience to Him to the best of my ability.
After nine years of pioneering work, we were even blessed with a small church building… but one day, after finishing a sermon, he announced his resignation without any prior discussion. I was thoroughly enjoying church life at the time, so the announcement of his resignation felt like a death sentence. He explained that he couldn’t discuss it with me because he knew I would oppose it 100 percent—he had agonized over it before making the announcement. Seeing me lose sleep and grieve, my husband said, “Let’s wait and see what the Lord will do.
How do we know if the Lord has prepared something even better?” What could possibly be better than a professor teaching students from the lectern, a doctor healing patients at a hospital, or a pastor proclaiming the Word from the pulpit—that he would tell me to just wait and see? I lived with a heavy heart, wondering if the stress of his pastoral work had caused him to lose his mind a little. Then, while I was going through this, I read an article from the Christian Medical Mutual Aid Association about a planned health screening at Inha University Hospital in Incheon, South Korea.
To be honest, I didn’t have high expectations when I signed up for the insurance; I just thought it would be better than having no coverage at all. The moment I read that article, I heard the Lord’s voice telling me, “Since you haven’t taken care of your health while serving in ministry, take this opportunity to go to Korea and get a comprehensive health checkup.” My husband and I went together for the checkup, and as a result, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer.
Ah! So that’s why He told me to stop my ministry and get a comprehensive checkup. If this is God’s plan, then my treatment is over. I felt a deep conviction that I was completely healed. I immediately went through the admission process and underwent surgery… Later, I learned that the internist who diagnosed my stomach cancer (Dr. Jeong Seok) and the surgeon who performed the operation (Professor Heo Yun-seok) were leading authorities in Korea. Since we didn’t even know that we’d have to pay an additional 20% premium to be treated by them, I couldn’t help but acknowledge that this was all accomplished within God’s meticulous plan. (I apologize for using their real names, but I felt compelled to do so out of sheer gratitude.)
My husband’s surgery went so smoothly! If the Lord had told me to pause my ministry for a moment, and I had said, “Lord, I have poured my body, my whole heart, and all my strength into this ministry. I would rather die here than leave.” How could the Lord have healed my husband, who was carrying a tumor, if I had said that? If he had undergone surgery in the U.S., how could he have eaten the nourishing dog meat soup that’s said to be so beneficial after surgery? And that’s not all. Just think how much our Lord loves my husband… Among those living in the U.S., how many people have actually eaten wild boar raised in Korea?
A wild boar that just happened to be caught—one that got snagged in a snare and dragged it along as it fled—ended up getting stuck on the hill behind the house where we were staying, only to be shot with an air rifle and brought down right in front of our lodging, where it was killed. What on earth was the point of all that? As we held a wild boar feast in honor of our Lord, who even provided us with this wild boar to eat, my sister-in-law danced merrily, while I cried my eyes out.
Now, in the recovery phase, I find myself gazing at my husband’s face more than a dozen times a day—my husband who came down from heaven! My husband who came back to life after dying! Now, even if my husband were to tell me to cook rice with sand, I, Kim Young-ok, would obediently say, “Yes.” I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I take each day as it comes. We don’t know what plans our Lord has for us after his recovery, but today, too, we will live with gratitude and humility.
Finally, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to my brother-in-law, Pastor Park Ki-jeon, and my sister-in-law, Kim Mun-hwa, who, during my stay in Korea, took me out every day to see the fall foliage—insisting that I shouldn’t just lie in bed after my surgery—and treated me to bosintang, chueotang, and eojuk. I also extend my heartfelt thanks to the Christian Medical Mutual Aid Association for opening the door to a new life for me.
