Stacey Kim | CMM Member, California Resident
We all know that life’s path is unpredictable, but when we’re suddenly faced with a difficult situation we never even imagined, we’re usually overcome by fear or a sense of helpless dread. Especially when a sudden health crisis strikes, the questions of “why” and “how” lead to anxiety, making us feel as though we’ve hit rock bottom. Yet, in a way, it also seems to serve as an opportunity to view the world around us through a new, transformed perspective.
Coming from a family with five generations of deep-rooted faith on my mother’s side, I have experienced gradual spiritual growth through various challenges in my faith and the grace of God that has accompanied them. The despair I felt over college admissions, the pain I endured during various treatments and procedures due to infertility, the miraculous experience of being able to have three children despite it all, and the struggles and struggles I faced while raising my children in American society—all of these helped me realize my place as a creature before God and gave me the strength to overcome them with grace.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
As I went about my life, I was diagnosed with breast cancer during a health checkup while visiting Korea around the age of 64. Since I had always considered myself healthy and had been exercising, albeit only a little, the diagnosis came as a complete shock. I felt completely lost and numb, as if I had fallen into water.
Since I hadn’t noticed any changes in my body or felt any pain, the sudden news of cancer turned into a terrifying threat to my life. Above all, I had been living without incident for the past 13 years by enrolling in CMM Christian Medical Mutual Aid, a health care sharing ministry, instead of regular health insurance, so financial concerns made me anxious. I had heard that hospital costs in the U.S. are so exorbitant that they are virtually impossible to afford, so to be honest, I was more worried about the medical bills than the treatment itself.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
I began by contacting the CMM Christian Medical Mutual Aid Society to select a primary care physician. Since I needed a primary care physician in order to see an oncologist, I went through a long and complicated process before I could actually receive treatment. The constant communication with nurses and the surgeon was also exhausting. Nevertheless, trusting that the Lord was watching over my life, I began communicating with the hospital step by step, while striving to maintain my daily life as usual. The counseling and guidance provided by the staff at CMM Christian Medical Mutual Aid were a tremendous comfort to me, and the financial support, coupled with their intercessory prayers, became an indescribable source of strength.
“When sorrow fills your heart, the Lord will comfort you; bear your cross joyfully with a heart as bright as the morning sun” (Hymn 458).
For the past five months since my diagnosis, I have spent my days giving thanks aloud to God for detecting the disease early and singing this hymn in my heart. Now, I have successfully undergone surgery to remove the cancer cells, and the subsequent radiation therapy has also come to an end. I do not consider myself a patient. Rather, I see myself as merely a part of God’s plan, in which He is leading me toward a new identity as a believer through this illness. I consider myself truly blessed, having experienced anew God’s providence and grace, which guard my steps and guide me along the right path on life’s journey.
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Source: Christian Journal (https://www.kcjlogos.org)